Sunday, January 17, 2010

Thursday and Sunday

This is a very long post-- in essence, we are thrilled to be giving baby at least 1 more week to arrive on his/her own time!

Thursday was a busy day – with Adrian’s neck out of joint, he asked me to make a chiropractic appointment in Butte at the end of the work day. When there were no spots available, we took a Friday slot and I moved my midwife appt from Thurs to Fri to coincide. Then our midwife from Missoula called and said she wasn’t comfortable attending our birth if it didn’t happen by Friday (the 42 week mark according to the calendar) … and my world caved in. I despaired, I wondered what to do next, of course I hoped <> that baby would just come and it would not be an issue, I changed the Butte midwife appointment back to that same afternoon, I called Adrian at work. When he wasn’t available, I listened to a Jon Courson message about being in the shadow of his wings (Matthew 23, with reference to Psalm 118). “God is the Lord.” (Ps 118.27). Soak that up for a while. I sobbed and sobbed through the entire sermon, fixing my heart on being able to truly say that “God is Lord”—right now, when I can’t control this situation. When I am asking in prayer, I am not lord; God is Lord. “…which hath shewed us light: bind the sacrifice with cords, even unto the horns of the altar”. As soon as it was finished, Adrian called back and I relayed what was going on. He was able to come home from work a few hours early to attend the appointment with me and be present if any big decisions needed to be made.

First we monitored baby’s heart (non stress test) for 30 minutes, while the girls tried to keep quiet and still in a very small exam room. Then we got in on a last minute late afternoon appointment at the imaging place to have a Bio-Physical Profile done on the baby. This ultrasound was described as an in-utero APGAR, in which baby is assessed on 8 points that include bone measurements, muscle tone, amniotic fluid volume, umbilical cord health, etc. The baby passed with flying colors, of course, and the machine calculated a gestational age of 38-39 weeks, which is 3 weeks earlier than the calendar predicted! In essence, this medical test proved that my intuition about baby not being ready is right, and the Butte midwife was able to get a statement from her backup OB/GYN that we in fact do not need to induce, but can let baby stay put for at least another week, with another ultrasound Thursday if needed.

On the drive home from Butte, we were cruising on the interstate at 75 mph when another vehicle passed us, probably traveling 85. It was dusk, and that vehicle was only about 1-2 seconds in front of us when 2 deer darted out onto the highway. We watched as the vehicle hit one of the deer, exploding parts of the front of the car and sending the deer flying. Adrian safely maneuvered our van through the wreckage and around the animal, and our kids didn’t see any of it; they only asked why we had slowed down. I felt so surely God’s hand of protection through that incident— we didn’t hit a deer, the other vehicle didn’t go out of control, our vehicle wasn’t damaged by the other vehicle’s parts scattering the highway, and our kids were protected from seeing a fairly gruesome event.

It was after this, still on the way home, that I heard from my Missoula midwife, and then the Butte midwife, confirming that they were now comfortable with letting baby be for a while longer, and we can go on waiting as planned! We had such a wonderful Friday (Adrian’s day off), peacefully content that baby didn’t have to come by that day in order to be born at home.

There are a few disadvantages to anticipating a baby for so long: 2 weeks ago, my house was spit-shined from top to bottom; every corner was dusted (even under the bed!) As time goes on, the dust is falling again and I’m not having such a ready-for-baby feeling. Oh well, he/she will be introduced to dust and fingerprints sometime, if not at birth, right?!

Today it’s Sunday, and I really appreciated the morning worship message which was largely based on Proverbs 3: 5,6: “TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART; AND LEAN NOT UNTO YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING”. That means you are actually trusting; not just thinking that you are, or looking as if you are to other people! So the ALL YOUR HEART part reminded me of a song I have been singing with and learning to sign with the girls in school: “Love the Lord your God with all your HEART, all your SOUL, all your MIND, and all your STRENGTH! (song #17 on the playlist below)

In this experience, am I loving the Lord with everything I have? HEART: Am I guarding my heart from attitudes that arise naturally? Am I choosing to be consumed by concerns or promises? Pressure or peace? Annoyance or compassion? My way or God’s way?
SOUL: Is my soul more influenced by fear or faith? Worry or trust? More consumed with the upcoming birth event, or the glorious return of my Savior?
MIND: As many times as your thoughts go our way, you can imagine that I am consumed many times more by the anticipation of this baby. Every thought, every second, every move, every conversation --- I should be lifting my eyes, even when the anticipation of welcoming baby has gone on so long that it seems as though it may never happen.
STRENGTH: I am sooo thankful for an incredible amount of energy at the end of this pregnancy to serve my family, to make a cozy space to give birth, to get out and walk, to enjoy each moment of time with Jaci as our baby—this is her experience too. I nourish and carry another soul. My body is sometimes aching, sometimes painful, sometimes weary—yet I will love the Lord with all the strength I have. And it will be the strength HE has given me to birth the baby—all glory to HIM!

Our sweet baby, whoever he/she is, is not “stubborn”, not “happier keeping warm inside”, or “definitely a boy” for being on a different time schedule, as I’ve heard some say. Let’s not neglect to give God some credit in this, His creation. None of these days of anticipation as a surprise for him, for He has knit this baby together, and has always known baby’s birth date. This baby’s arrival is just like the return of Christ: no man knows the day or the hour, but we are one day closer than yesterday! “Jesus is coming; people get ready, soon we’ll be going home!” (song #16 below).

Thank you for your interest, your care, and for walking alongside us in this unique experience!

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